There are a million reasons not to hire a kids entertainer for little Johnny or Jane’s party. Here we look at just nine of them. You’ve been warned!
Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek article – but you knew that anyway.
ONE: It’s too much fun for your little ones.
Let’s be honest – you’d much rather have your little treasure sat in front of the television or glued to their favourite computer game now wouldn’t you? Heaven forbid that they should have an hour or two of healthy, clean fun with someone who know great ways to keep them enthralled.
TWO: Who needs an extra pair of eyes anyway
When you’ve invited half the county along to celebrate your child’s birthday, you will of course be an absolute star when it comes to having eyes on all those children all at once. You don’t need the extra help to ensure that Johnny isn’t shoving Jimmy’s head into the stinging nettles at the bottom of the garden, or Jane isn’t using her Dad’s gloss paint to decorate Josie’s face. Children plot but as a perfect parent you’ll be able to spot that without any extra help. You’re more than capable of doing that all yourself aren’t you?
THREE: It will result in an early night
Having a kids entertainer around will exhaust little Johnny or Jane which can only results in them being too tired to stay up late. Oh Lordy… that means that you’ve got the house to yourself earlier than normal meaning you have no excuses to avoid the washing up. You’ll also have less time to spend with them because they’ll be tucked up in bed.
FOUR: It encourages too much imagination
Face it – you want your children to be seen and not heard. don’t you? Heaven forbid that the entertainer may trigger their little imaginations, motivating them to look differently at the world around them. You don’t want them to see the world in a more colourful way do you?
FIVE: You’ll be the talk of the town
We’re all pretty private people and the last thing you want is for your peers to be discussing how brilliant your party was. You don’t wish to be held up as an example to other parents on how to throw a party. You want to be left alone and live a quiet life, don’t you?
SIX: You won’t be able to sneak a Double Whammer with Cheese
So what if you’re on a diet? You’ve been craving that burger all week – and by hosting a party at home, you won’t be able to sneak that “cholesterol in a bun” with the “Well… I had to… it’s my kid’s party and I wanted to fit in” excuse. It will force you to only eat those healthy (albeit sugary) snacks you’ve lovingly prepared yourself.
SEVEN: It doesn’t promote competitiveness
The last thing you want is for little Johnny or Jane to excel as a team player. You’re bringing them up to be winners – there’s no pride in second place eh. You’ve brought them up to fight for the top slot and those non-competitive games that your kids entertainer provides only encourages the little ones to work together for mutual enjoyment. Can’t be having that now, can you?
EIGHT: It will only give you the opportunity for a quick vino with the girls (or boys)
As the epitome of a healthy parent, you like to show others how clean living you are. Of course when you have a kids entertainer at your party then you’d almost be forced to sneak off to the kitchen with the ladies (or gents) for a glass of something chilled and alcoholic, and some canapés – when we all know you much prefer a glass of lemon squash and a mini sausage roll.
NINE: Magic isn’t real
You’re bringing your child up to know right from wrong and to be able to differentiate between what is real and what is magic. Let’s not fill their teeny heads with a splash of colour and laughter – it only encourages them to enjoy fairytales and soon they’ll want to clear out the Tooth Fairy’s bank account which isn’t going to end well now is it? Can’t be doing with that nonsense. Keep it real! Manage your child’s expectations.
Anyway – if you wish to ignore the above and throw caution to the wind… then go ahead and consider a kids entertainer. Derby Kids Entertainer Coe Coe will happy to discuss your requirements and throw all your parental guidance out of the window.